time

havent log in to blogger for so long. why does it look so different now -.-||

anyway i know i suck luh. i always come to this space when i suddenly want to pen down my thoughts just cos i have no one to share it with. why so sad..

this has really been an eventful year both good and bad. and for now, school is getting from bad to worse. I JUST CANT GET IT RIGHT. i suddenly feel a lack of inspiration. i hate it when the lecturers KEEP ASKING what is my dream. i really have NO SOLID DREAM. maybe cos i have no confidence. or i just dont plan. BUT, i know that i always put in 200 percent when it comes to work, like serious stuff. and honestly i dont know whats the road ahead of me is gonna be like. of course i am afraid cos i want to get a high pay job which i enjoy. where to find such job uh... but i still wanna believe i can do it. i want to enjoy work.

now even a 2nd upper class seem so out of reach to me. i wanna do well, but i really dont know how. i want my parents to be proud of me but i dont know how.

i cant even handle stuff like r/s properly. i really dont know if im still behaving like a kid, okay sometimes i really do, or i am just suitable to be alone. like my previous post, just me and myself against the world. i wanna scream out to the world, why am i always such a failure???? CRY.

yes, now you see all my negative thoughts but i always appear brave and positive in front of people cos i still want to believe in happiness.

if you read my blog, i know you're one of the super rare ones who still care about me. thank you.


super emo night, now i got no mood to do my 3k word essay again sighhhhh.

also, this thing keep running through my mind. time taught me that things can never be reversed and never be the same like it was. once you missed the stop, that's it. no room for regrets. suck it uppppp :(


sorry goodnight.