last night a few made my day.

and i guess today's lunch made me happier :) but yes, i just ate alot, again. like not so much rice but it's sunday so there's a lot of dishes.

my mom and i baked this strawberry swiss cake tgt. okay.. not v successful but edible.

i told my mom i want/need to get a new camera, cos my course currently needs a basic manual function in my cam. and i cant be borrowing from song rong every wk. so yep, dad's gonna get it from audio hse for me :D LX 5.

mom asked if i dare to drive dad's new super ultra big car. BM 7 series. im at a loss for words. honestly speaking i dont dare to drive his car.

k i just came to a conclusion my mom is in a good mood today, so am i.

gonna do homework alr. buaiz.

this is super emo wkend, really.

other than the fact i met frankie for a swim and suntan in the morning,

and i wore this super nice dress which i like alot alot,

any other thing sucks big time.

SIGHHHHH.

I WANT..

SKINNER LIMBS, LIKE BEFORE...

AT LEAST A DECENT SHAPE, LIKE BEFORE...

AND SUPER ABS LOOK ALIKE, LIKE BEFORE..

frankie said my muscles kinda became fats, like less toned than before.

SEE, IM NOT LYING WHEN I SAY I AM FAT NOW.

okay i think im gonna whine about this every single day till i shed fats.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I JUST WASTED MY WKEND NIGHTS AWAY.

HATE IT.

I DIDNT PARTY.

I DIDNT GET TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS.

I DIDNT GO OUT.

I DIDNT GO FOR SUPPER.

I DIDNT GO DRINKING.

I DONT HAVE EEVANN TO DISTURB ME.

I DONT HAVE ATIKAH WITH ME IN SG.

I DONT HAVE PAUL TO WATCH MOVIE WITH ME.

I DONT HAVE HUIQI TO GO DRINKING WITH ME.

I DONT HAVE ADE TO DINNER WITH ME.

I DONT HAVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO MEET UP WITH.

I DONT HAVE EX-COLLEGUES TO CHILL WITH.

AIYA, FUCK.

IDK WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG THIS WKEND.

goodnight.

anyway, sorry irving. i was so lazy to get out of hse just now, and i didnt know what we could do. i'll make up to you, promise.

OMG, JUST DONT TALK TO ME. im feeling so frustrated now. idk why. seriously. might be the stress, might be the weather, might be my mom, might be.. just everyone. okay i think it's me.

I WANT WHITE! but i have this feeling it might be silver. and OMG? the black look so pretty in the first picture. SO PRETTY.

k according to ty this camera is supposed to be somewhat as good as a dslr. so i trust him :)

2. tmr im gonna meet frankie to swim. i guess i will wake up earlier to go run. and im gg to sch to sew in the afternoon. and prolly meet rx and poon at night to drink.

kkk im gonna do homework to get a life. buaizx.

HELLO, I AM CALLED LUCKY GIRL :)

KUEH

COCONUT CUPCAKES

GREEN BEAD SOUP

BUTTER CAKE

recently,

1. i decided that c guy is just a stupid crush. true enough he's always making use of me. and i will not entertain him anymore.

2. im starting to feel im gonna be single for the next 2 yrs, looking at the kind of lifestyle im leading. actl i see nth coming at all. guess i gotta depend on myself.

3. im really busy cos sch work is piling up. and im starting to feel stressed up simply cos everyone arnd me is working so damn hard. and im so used to being laid back. its time to change the way i handle things.

4. guess i wont have much time for everyone for the next few wks. i get so scared everytime i stop doing work. feels like im lagging so much behind.

5. everyone cant believe im doing homework. seriously??? i rly have ALOT of assignments. and photography esp is scaring the shit outta me. same for sewing and drawing. and management. omg? i just listed everything -.-

6. I FEEL 7 WEEKS WILL PASS DAMN QUICKLY? and it'll be project wk. gawd, i need break cos by then i'll be dead.

i might end up taking management anyway. design doesnt seem like a great idea. i cant shade esp, for nuts! i hate shading.

im gg crazy, k gonna do work alr. bye.

btw last night clubbing with k, eunice, jeremy, nydia, zhihao, ty and kl... MUSIC SUCKS. and on the way home, kl kept saying we shld picnic someday. carbo picnic :D HAHAHAH. it's meant to be an inside joke. poor ty and zhihao. NO CARBO TILL END OF THIS YR? KIDDING ME.

k byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

not v good quality images.

but yeah.

will we ever meet a reflection of ourselves but of opposite sex?

im feeling kinda empty, w/o cheer in my life. i thought i can live w/o it. but i realise it's so difficult, esp when you see them on fb almost every single day. sigh. it just keeps coming back. why do we all have to move on. WHY? WHY DO WE HAVE TO GROW UP :( hate it.

and it just occurs to me that, someday, just someday, i will disappear and no one will realise. i feel like im busy everyday, but as i lie down at night to think, my heart is almost empty. there's no real connection to anyone anymore. like a person who knows EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY LIFE, LATEST HAPPENINGS. none. they're all dispersed and i get so confused at times. i think if someone were to ever ask me who's my best friend. i wont be able to answer. there's so many, so much so i feel like none is most impt. maybe cos all best friends are attached. and they aint those who will initiate things. been hanging arnd for past one yr and that feeling honestly sucks. it's just empty. i dont know who i have. i guess if i dont initiate anything, no one will. so i'll just disappear, for good? i cant live w/o someone to share my everyday's happening with. to me it's as good as a slow death.

maybe that's part and parcel of growing up, being an adult.

i hate changes. i dont like the way i go to school and i just cant find a topic to talk to certain classmates. i am disturbed by the fact my closest buddy in sch isnt rly sharing stuff with me. sigh. but im still quite lucky, at least i know my buddy still sms me when she's facing problems with sch, and i have 3 other classmates whom i can count on. they're rly nice.

guess im just not that sociable. i hate socialising to be exact. like ytd i was at zouk and yeah this 32 yr old man, what can i talk to him. i felt so out of place sitting next to him. so awkward to be in a place you aint familiar with. but yeah, glad i have k beside me.

last night was good. free entry, free drinks. like the super smooth vodka, was unlimited cos old man said help yourself. so good to be rich? cigar looks totally different from the normal ones, lollipop has a light stick. how cool? phuture was packed as usual. i almost lost my phone thanks to martell and greentea, and vodka and coke. i left it in the toilet. how stupid can i get. and i swear i couldnt walk properly, one of the best nights when im just tipsy but not drunk.

2nd time i slept on the toilet bowl and took an hour to bathe. i literally drop dead after shower. i could feel the alcohol in my stomach before i slept. I FORGOT TO BRUSH TEETH?! HAHAHA. morning i woke up with my mouth stinking of alcohol. yikes. and its weird. how come the alcohol is making my muscles aching all over. WHY??? :(

AND NOW MY TUMMY PAIN AGAIN. GRRR...

i want to disappear.

but before that, i am really looking forward to meeting langston, wanlin and maybe bernice this coming wkend. bbq at my hse. who says 4 person cant bbq? :D

AHHHHHH. i totally dislike my hair now! i want to have nice bangs, with sexy wavy curls. ALL IN BLACK! :( my hair's so dead, and something is wrong with my fringe, it makes my face look SO FAT! ahhhhhh. i need to be on diet, i need to lose weight, i need to stay slim, i need to have skinner thighs!!!! AND I NEED MY FACE TO BE SMOOTH AND PIMPLELESS.

zzz. i went to swim and suntan today. other than that, i did practically nth today. hahaha. slacker ttm. went grandma's place. still unable to chew/swallow properly. I HATE THAT ULCERRR, ITS KILLING MEEEEEEEEE.

tmr might be baking some tarts or kueh with mom again. coolzx. and tmr i can do my diy manicure. and do my sewing assignment! needa start alr.

kk the ulcer is killing me, AND I MEAN IT. it's affecting my right ear now. goodnight earth.

k i guess twitter is retarded. it cant read long posts! >:(

well, whatever is going through my mind now, is that I THINK THAT I WAS DAMN SUPER UNLUCKY TO MEET A BASTARD LIKE YOU. YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE HEARTBREAKER. GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE. I HATE MYSELF. I REGRET. NOW I REALLY DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE. OK NO, ALL ALONG I NEVER KNEW WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE. AINT YOU AFRAID OF YOURSELF TOO? YOU'RE SCARY.

and so they say, innocent always get killed by the cunning ones. how to not believe?

aiya, whatever. i dont care anymore.

so today spent the whole day in town, again! i think it's becoming my fav hangout place in spore. IM ALWAYS IN TOWN, LIKE DAYS WHEN I HAVE NO SCH? DURING THE WKENDS? EVERYDAY! i think im mad.

bought reb's present with zhihao :) hope reb like the dress. hehehe. and we went imperial to eat. DAMN MY ULCER, WAS FREAKING PAINFUL >:( but the food was oh so good. like urgh! i cant eat much. i havent ate rice for 2 days alr!!!! my fav dish sweet and sour pork...... awesome.

last night! was out with weining jiaheng and ruixiang after my sch! we went to this irish pub at circular road. poon's friend was working there. awesome. the friend asked if anyone studying at sp. i was like i just graduated. i asked what course shes studying. business admin! yr 3. there goes. rachel's course mate. the world is just THIS small :)

wanted to go zouk. but aiya! clarence couldnt sign me in. and k replied me so late. by then i was home alr. so good girl :) will party this coming fri...... with weining jiaheng and ruixiang. awesome... LIKEY LIKE LIKE. heheheh.

k is officially like my party bff!!! HAHAHAH. but he went w/o me last night! cos im rly broke and i didnt wanna pay. but he got free entry and drinks in the end! AHHHHHHH!! nvm luh. another time.

YAY YAY YAY. party bff says im not as angsty ever since sch started! :D HAHAH. think that's good.

K SCHOOL'S GOOD. TONS OF WORK COMING MY WAY. GOODNIGHT PEEPS.

PLEASE ASK ME OUT IF YOU GUYS WISH TO. DONT ALWAYS WAIT TILL I ASK YOU OUT CAN??? I AM NOT ALWAYS BUSY AS YOU MAY THINK I AM. TYVM :)

NIGHT!

sigh, i miss perm hair :(

and i seriously think i became more chubby

like fat face :(

sore throat! :(

shihui. i rly wonder how does it feel like to be... says:

(:

nv say you miss me

HAHAH!

[c=63]sometimes..[/c] says:

ya lar

miss u

do well in sch

(:

LOVESSSS :D so touched!

1. im starting school tmr. i feel excited, at the same time, very afraid of the mountain high workload. all those sleepless nights, burning midnight oils, are nightmares. but well, since i chose this path, i shld tahan all the way. it's supposed to be what i've always wanted to do.

2. having said that, somehow, i feel like i havent rly enjoyed my holidays?! shitzxz. what am i talking right. recently i've been going out, meeting ppl, catching up, shopping, EATING, partying. and 2 weeks ago, i just ended work. then wenzhen asked, so what do you mean by enjoying holidays? i guess it's just having time to myself, watching tv, being a couch potato, swimming, gyming, doing DIY manicures, packing my room, reading books. I THINK I DID NONE, OR LIL OF THOSE? OMGZX. hate myself. think it'll be a long long time before i get another looooong break :(

3. these few weeks i've been getting weird stomachaches. and it's frightening me too. sigh. everyone kept telling me i drank too much or what shit. but well, it could be indigestion? or too much grastic juices?! idk luh. it's rly scary. like last night, idk if it was cos of the chilli padi, i was in so much pain that i sat in the toilet and there was nth, so i immediately off everything on my laptop and went to slp? i relied alot on ru yi you. it's like my ultimate saviour everytime.

4. mom wants me to clear the SHOEBOX in my wardrobe. sigh. though i've long gotten over it, but i guess it still holds some sentimental values. since it was the first time a guy ever folded 99 straw hearts for me and wrote numerous love letters to me? like some childhood love kinda stuff when we were all only like 15 or 16.

5. wenzhen texted me to wish me luck for first day of sch tmr. now i feel kinda sad that we're no longer schooling tgt :( sigh. i do miss rushing projects with them, all those funny moments, good and bad times. the silly stuff/jokes we say or do which make everyone laugh like crazy(wenzhen would always tear) the insane idea to bring cooked food to sch and sharing amongst us 4 when we had long break in between(but we gave up after 2 weeks). ohman, just so many! i guess we're all moving on. and of course i wish the best for everyone. and hope we'll still meet up often. MISS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

6. now it's time to adjust my mood back for serious stuff at school. cant play THAT much anymore, but doesnt mean i cant have fun right? :)

alright, it's getting late you see. goodnight! :)

WAIT,

7. i dont know what to do for saturday.

i have:

a.SIA interview which i promised eunice i would go with her

b. school dinner

c. pri sch classmates gg to ubin to cycle and have seafood for dinner

OMG? what shld i do??? somebody tell me? sigh.

one last thing,

8. i was telling paul about lasalle students dressing,

he just give up on dressing up when he goes out with me. cos he know i wont. HAHA! seriously tiring can! like wearing jeans is.. suffocating my legss! it's rly tiring to dress up everyday. rly..

kk gtg slp. night! :) hope it'll be a great day ahead!!!